50 dad jokes to tickle everyone’s funny bone
4 min read
Keep the laughs coming with these one
Kids and adults will be in stitches over these silly one-liners, corny puns and funny dad jokes.
Looking for dad jokes? Well, look no further, because you’ve found the definitive collection of corny one-liners.
Take this corny dad joke, for example: Did you hear the one about the cleaners who went to space? They ended up scrubbing the mission.
Or how about the kidnapping at school? Good news: they woke him up.
What about the archeologist that got fired? Apparently, his career is in ruins. (Ba-dum-tss.)
Sure, you’re probably groaning right now, but that’s the entire point of terrible dad jokes, right? They’re silly, yet absolutely hilarious.
To keep the laughs coming, we’ve collected our favorite corny gags and cringy puns to use however you see fit.
Whether you’ve come seeking material for open mic night at the comedy club or are keeping your pals entertained with this endless supply of funny one-liners, we’ve got a compilation of zingers for the ages — and the eye rolls.
Best of all, with the exception of a few dark humor jokes, these clean gags are perfectly appropriate for kids, the family, coworkers and anyone else with a serious sense of humor.
So, prepare your knees for slapping and clear the aisles, because you and your crew are about to be rolling in them.
Funny Dad Jokes
- Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”
- I don’t tell dad jokes that often. But when I do, he laughs.
- Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a sedan.
- What did the pirate say on his birthday? “Aye, matey!”
- I was going to tell a sodium joke, then I thought, “Na.”
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
- Why are frogs good at baseball? They know how to catch fly balls.
- What’s the easiest building to lift? A lighthouse.
- Why do sweaters tend to hang out together? They’re pretty close-knit.
- What’s the best way to get the hospital after breaking your foot? Tow truck.
- Did you hear about the archeologist that got fired? His career is in ruins.
- What did the buffalo say to her son on the first day of school? “Bison.”
- Why do ducks have feathers on their tales? To hide their butt-quacks.
- Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears around.
- What kind of underpants do lawyers wear? Briefs.
- What do you call it when a cow grows facial hair? A moo-stache.
- Did you hear about the two rowboats that got into an argument? It was an oar-deal.
- Did you hear about the cleaners who went to space? They ended up scrubbing the mission.
- What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time no sea.
- Why do turkeys play percussion? They have drumsticks.
- I adopted a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as I brought him home, he made a bolt for the door.
- How much does it cost to swim with sharks? An arm and a leg.
- What did one toilet say to the other? You appear a bit flushed.
- Why are most people tired on April 1? They’ve just finished a 31-day March.
- Why did the cow go to Hollywood? To be in the moo-vies.
- Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it’s a sour puss.
- How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
- What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- What do you call an anxious fly? A jitterbug.
- How did the piano get locked out of its car? It lost its keys.
- Why did the orchestra get struck by lightning? It had a conductor.
- What do you call a fake dad? A faux pas.
- How do you make an eggroll? You push it.
- I’ve never been a fan of facial hair. But now it’s starting to grow on me.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- Why did the rabbit go to the salon? It was having a bad hare day.
- What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon.
- How do you hire a horse? Put up a ladder.
- Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a little horse.
- Is there anything worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
- Did you hear about the guy who afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
- Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
- What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
- Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.
- How do you get a squirrel’s attention? Act like a nut.
- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
- Why did the computer catch cold? It left a window open.
- How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
- What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
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