Sheryl Lee Ralph’s secret to a successful marriage? Live apart
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Sheryl Lee Ralph at the 82nd Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, California, on January 5, 2025. Photo by Daniel Cole/Reuters.
Sheryl Lee Ralph has shared the unique secret behind her long-lasting marriage with Pennsylvania State Senator Vincent Hughes: living apart. The couple, who have been married for 19 years, has managed to keep their relationship strong and thriving, despite the unconventional living arrangement. In a recent interview with People, the Emmy-winning star of Abbott Elementary explained how the distance between them has contributed to their successful marriage.
The couple, who met while Ralph was performing in the Broadway musical Thoroughly Modern Millie in the early 2000s, maintain separate lives despite their enduring commitment to each other. Ralph revealed that both she and Hughes have independent careers and personal lives, which allows them to continue growing as individuals. According to Ralph, “He has his own life. I have my own life. He has his own real career, I have my own real career. He has his light to stand in, I have my light to stand in.” She added that their marriage works because they each give the other space to pursue their passions, without the pressure of competing for attention or status. “He is not looking at me thinking about status or this or that. He’s doing his thing. I get to do my thing,” Ralph explained.
Living apart has allowed them to preserve their individuality, a dynamic that Ralph believes keeps the relationship healthy and vibrant. “We also live in separate places,” she explained. “When I go to see him, I love to see him. When it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye. See you soon!’ I’m telling you, life is good. Perfect. I get to be the real good wife!” This arrangement, while unusual, has clearly worked well for them over the years.
The couple’s relationship took shape in a way that required practical solutions. Ralph reflected on the challenges that arose when they first became a couple. “You fall in love with somebody and you realize, he’s not leaving his career. He is not leaving Philadelphia. I’m not leaving Hollywood. And when you have children, you can’t just pick up your children and move across the country,” she explained. Ralph has two children from her previous marriage to Eric Maurice, and the logistics of uprooting them for a move was simply not feasible.
As a result, Ralph and Hughes settled into a routine where Ralph remained in California to focus on her career, while Hughes stayed in Philadelphia, continuing his work as a state senator. “So it just worked out that I was in California, he was in Philadelphia, and every two weeks we saw each other, and it worked out well,” Ralph said. This arrangement has worked remarkably well for them, and they plan to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary next year.
For many, the concept of living apart may seem strange, but for Ralph and Hughes, it’s been the key to maintaining a happy and successful marriage. Ralph even acknowledges how their longevity together is a rare accomplishment, especially in an age when many marriages don’t last. “We will celebrate 20 years of marriage, thank you, and some people can’t even get through two. So, it’s all good,” Ralph said with a sense of humor and gratitude.
Their marriage serves as an example of how relationships can thrive when partners maintain their independence and allow each other the space to grow. While the arrangement might not be for everyone, Ralph and Hughes have found a formula that works for them, and it has allowed them to celebrate nearly two decades of marital bliss. As Ralph puts it, “Life is good. Perfect.”
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