Edinburgh Fringe 2024: Mark Simmons Wins Funniest Joke with Nautical Pun
3 min read
At this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, comedian Mark Simmons has been crowned the winner of the coveted Funniest Joke of the Fringe award. His winning punchline, “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it,” stood out as the top joke among festival goers.
The Funniest Joke of the Fringe award, sponsored by U&Dave, is determined by public vote. Members of the public selected their favorite from a shortlist compiled by a panel of judges. Simmons’ clever nautical pun was favored by 40% of those surveyed, earning him the top spot.
Simmons, a seasoned performer at the Fringe, made his debut solo show at the festival in 2014, encouraged by a friend to try an open mic night. His career at the Fringe has been notable, with a previous joke being voted the second-best joke in 2022, and placing sixth and ninth in earlier years.
Currently, Simmons is performing his “More Jokes” show at Liquid Rooms Annexe until August 24. Following this, he will embark on a 200-date UK tour to promote his debut solo performance.
In response to his win, Simmons shared his delight, saying, “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers—can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”
The top 15 jokes of the 2024 Edinburgh Fringe showcase a variety of humor, reflecting the festival’s diverse comedic talent:
- “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” – Mark Simmons
- “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back.” – Alec Snook
- “Ate horse at a restaurant once—wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.” – Alex Kitson
- “I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.” – Arthur Smith
- “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.” – Mark Simmons
- “My dad used to say to me ‘Pints, gallons, litres’—which, I think, speaks volumes.” – Olaf Falafel
- “British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?” – Chelsea Birkby
- “I wanted to know which came first, the chicken or the egg, so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it.” – Masai Graham
- “My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had.” – Zoë Coombs Marr
- “The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati.” – Olaf Falafel
- “I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’.” – Sarah Keyworth
- “I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard.” – Roger Swift
- “Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply.” – Lou Wall
- “Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher.” – Sophie Duker
- “Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects 1% of people.” – Olga Koch
Mark Simmons, originally from Canterbury, has also been recognized with the Comics Comic Award in 2022. He has made appearances on the UK panel show “Mock the Week” and hosts the “Jokes with Mark Simmons” podcast. Previous winners of the Joke of the Fringe award include notable comedians such as Lorna Rose-Treen, Masai Graham, and Tim Vine.
The Edinburgh Festival Fringe, renowned as the world’s largest performance art festival, takes place every August over three weeks. The festival continues to be a showcase for emerging and established comedians, with the Funniest Joke of the Fringe award highlighting the standout humor of the year.
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