Michelle Yeoh ‘felt a failure’ for not having children

Michelle Yeoh has opened up about her struggles with infertility, revealing how the experience left her feeling like a “failure” for not having children. The Oscar-winning actress, best known for Everything Everywhere All at Once, shared her deeply personal journey during an interview on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour. Yeoh, 62, spoke candidly about her desire to start a family, especially during her first marriage to businessman Sir Dickson Poon, which lasted from 1988 to 1992.

She recalled how her initial hope of having children with Poon became a central part of their relationship. “It was about having children, a next generation and all that,” she said. Despite undergoing fertility treatments, Yeoh’s efforts to conceive were unsuccessful, a painful experience she described as emotionally devastating. “The worst moment to go through is every month you feel like such a failure,” she explained. “And then you go, why? At some point, you stop blaming yourself. There are just certain things in your body that don’t function the way they’re supposed to. That’s how it is. You just have to let go and move on.”

Though Yeoh has since come to terms with her inability to have biological children, she admitted that the process of acceptance was not easy and remains an ongoing journey. “Honestly, I still think about it,” she said. “I’m 62. Of course, I’m not going to have a baby right now, but the thing is we just had a grandchild.” Yeoh described feeling “very, very blessed” to now have a baby in her life through her remarried husband’s family. She also enjoys spending time with her godchildren, nieces, and nephews, feeling that she is still deeply connected to younger generations.

Yeoh’s first marriage ended partly because of her inability to have children, an issue she said she and Poon were unable to resolve. “It took a long time to come to terms with not having children of my own,” she reflected. “It also maybe was the main factor that broke up my first marriage.” Yeoh acknowledged the importance of addressing such fundamental differences early in a relationship. “These are conversations you have to have with yourself,” she said. “If one person wants children and the other doesn’t, it’s something you have to face right at the beginning.” She emphasized the importance of being honest and fair to each other in relationships. “We tried, but sometimes you have to be brave enough to admit when things aren’t working, and not drag things out,” she said.

In 2023, Yeoh married French motor racing executive Jean Todt, whom she had been engaged to since 2004. Together, they enjoy a blended family, and Yeoh finds fulfillment in her role as a stepmother and in the joy of having a grandchild. “We just had a grandchild, and that made me feel that, in a way, I do have a baby in my life,” she shared, noting that while she had come to terms with not having her own children, she still felt blessed by the presence of younger generations in her life.

Yeoh’s reflections on her journey to acceptance resonate deeply, particularly for those who have faced similar challenges with infertility. Despite her initial feelings of failure, she now emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and the realization that life’s blessings can come in unexpected forms. “You just have to let go and move on,” she said, urging others to find peace in their unique journeys. Today, Yeoh continues to thrive professionally, with new projects on the horizon, including her role as Madame Morrible in the upcoming film adaptation of Wicked.